Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. It is one of the bravest things you can do.
And it can save your life. Growth comes from strength, not weakness.
I normalize therapy for men. You wouldn’t hire a football coach who has never worn pads. Why seek a therapist who has never been on the other side of the couch?
I can speak from years of experience in therapy that therapy helps. I sought marriage and individual therapy and participated in men’s groups when I needed help.
Women seek therapy twice as often as men. The stigma of men asking for help has decreased over the last decade, especially in the last few years after COVID increased an already great need for men to seek therapy. The reasons why women and men seek therapy have similarities, like depression, anxiety, grief, loss, and the pressures of everyday life. However, the symptoms and ways of dealing with those issues, and many others, vary greatly with men.
The National Institute of Mental Health lists these common symptoms of men’s issues:
- Anger, irritability, or aggressiveness and changes in mood, energy level, or appetite.
- Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much. Difficulty concentrating, feeling restless, or on edge
- Increased worry or feelings of stress. Sadness or hopelessness.
- A need for alcohol or drugs. Suicidal thoughts.
- Feeling flat or not as happy as before. Avoiding family and friends to ‘de-stress’.
- Engaging in high-risk activities or not enjoying previous hobbies or pastimes.
- Ongoing headaches, digestive issues, or pain. Obsessive thinking or compulsive behavior
- Thoughts or behaviors that interfere with work, family, or social life.
- Unusual thinking or behaviors that concern other people.
- 4 in 5 suicides (78%) are by men. For men under 44, suicide is the second cause of death.
- For men 45-64, suicide is the 4th
- Men are five times more likely to rely on alcohol or drugs as coping mechanisms.
- 15% of men have sexual trauma: only 1% will ever tell anyone and process the hurt.
- Myth: Being emotional or vulnerable is a sign of weakness.
- Fact: Holding in feelings and shame cause long-term physical and emotional problems.
- Men are more isolated than ever: In 2019, averaging three close friends. In 1988 it was seven.
- Men use ANGER to cover up hurt, shame, guilt, sadness, betrayal, fear and worry.
- Men suffer mental illnesses but are taught to ‘pull up their bootstraps’ and not ask for help.
Interestingly, the common reasons men AVOID therapy are the exact reasons they should seek therapy: According to Men’s Health Forum..
I use evidenced-based therapy to create an environment where men feel heard, supported and comfortable. I understand how men often experience mental health symptoms. Like me, most men never thought they would be ‘that guy’ who considers therapy. Men try to solve things independently when facing a relationship, job, or family crisis. But eventually, it becomes too overwhelming. Men might not know they are dealing with past trauma, but their past keeps getting in the way of them moving on with their lives. Is it time to ask for help?